ok.  I have missed my morning walks because of the weather and teaching swimming lessons.  I decided that I do not like myself when I do not get my walks.  I need the time to myself.

saw a robin today - it is July 14th! how can there still be a robin in Florida?

we have several geckos that live in our house

I am just tired of living with other people - I am longing for my own space where I am able to lay something down and have no one mess with it - I have recently lost a number of newspaper articles that I wanted Emma to read - my mother and my husband threw the newspapers out, thinking they were assisting with the situation.  No big deal.  It is just that all these little things add up and drive you crazy sometimes when you live with other people.  And the other thing that drives one crazy is living with their constant judgement of what you are doing in your own space.  Sometimes I like to leave fabric out on my dining room table - sometimes I leave it there for a day or two to take in the color and think about some designs as I walk by it throughout the day, oh no, within a day or two it  will be all folded up and put on the counter to be taken upstairs - heavens no, we cannot have some creativity laying around in case someone drops in.  I am so tired of keeping up my house to please all the other people that never show up - if someone doesn’t like me because I have some extra fabric setting on a chair, or have my yoga mat out, or my shower curtain down because the bathroom shower is in the process of getting repaired, etc.  I probably don’t like them either.  And one last thing about living with other people, they repeat themselves so much.  Wonder if any economists have studied the utility of (rather the lack of utility!) in living with people that constantly repeat what they say two to four times?

When my father was under hospice care, the hospice representative asked me a question, I cannot recall the question, yet I do recall that I answered the question with sincere honesty.  She then asked my profession, I knew that she thought that my response was curt and cold.  When I replied, a banker, she said she was not surprised.  I suppose it was not an emotionally charged response, which she expected since my father was near death.  I suppose I do have a bit of that get-to-the-facts-of-it about me.  I have indeed sent a friend or two on their way over the years.  Oh well.

When my father died, I was mad at him for giving up.  I know now, that we must respect when the others are ready to give up.  I know my father adored me and I loved him very much.  I know he forgives me for being a bit mad at him when he died and I know he knows that I forgive him for giving up when he did.

I love life,

voh